Thursday, February 5, 2009

don't skip dinner...

OR YOU'LL DREAM LIKE AN ANOREXIC IN FASHION SCHOOL

It starts with a plane crash into a broth jacuzzi, but the passengers don’t survive like the people in that jet that landed in the Hudson River, but they aren’t even people, the passengers. They’re, like, little Lilliputian Noodle people? But they have souls, and they scream as they die in some sort of simmering pond of broth.

I should know that I’m dreaming, but I don’t.

I, my dream-self, am arriving via sky-copter. I see the crash happen from above, but I’m not nervous about my vessel meeting the same fate. Although I’ve never scene a sky-copter before, but I know that that’s what this canoe-slash-helicopter is called, and I am also aware that this copter is quite safe.
I land on a black & white tile surface oddly similar to the flooring in Tom Petty’s music video for “Don’tcomearoundherenomore” and I immediately want to eat the Lilliputian Noodle People, but they aren’t dead yet. They’ve stopped screaming but they’re still squirming around. I like sushi, but even this is too much.
Do these noodle people have blood? I don’t think they do. I am imagining they’re going to taste like pre-packaged Thai food.
I hear sound of a party from up on a ledge above. It is then that I realize I am in something resembling a Russian Bath House combined with a Japanese Zen Garden. The party I hear from above isn’t a party. Its more goddamned Lilliputian Noodle People in another broth-bath, only these Noodle People aren’t dying, they’re having a grand old time and behaving as though they’re in a hot tub.
Now I’m even more conflicted about what I should eat.
That is, until I see a silk tapestry elephant soaring in from above with a steaming pot of dead-already Udon Noodles (none of them writhing or partying) in a bowl on his back. The Udon Noodles are thicker than the Noodle people so I don’t feel like a cannibal.
The silk tapestry elephant’s back is slick. His quilts are made of multi-colored, shiny patches, and that makes it hard to climb aboard. It’s a conundrum, or maybe it’s just a puzzle and I’m too starved to come up with the proper word. I need to eat. I need to swallow those fucking noodles.
Out of nowhere, a brown weiner-dog approaches. I instinctively know that I’ve got to roll onto his back in order to climb up onto the tapestry elephants back. I do, and I accidentally knee the tapestry elephant in the ribs. The tapestry elephant whirls his head around and I jerk back, but he ends up chewing on the weiner-dog’s face.
I wake up in my bed, covered in sweat, and counting my ribs.

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